Is It Me Or Is It Them

I am finding it more and more difficult to speak to people and I don't know if it's them or me.

Every since I can remember socialising as being a thing to do in my life, was never a problem. Ye know, I am bad at a lot of things but talking shite to people is not one of them but now people are starting to irritate me more, I feel less empathy. Even when people used to say something unfunny or uninteresting I would give them a charity laugh or give them a look of absolute concentration, just to be polite or maybe because I don't want to let them know how embarrassing they really are. I humour them on and hope to Christ that they fuck off. But now . . . . ?

I have been working on the panto and because of that I have been going to these theatre events such as Dublin Theatre Forum Christmas Party, The Panto Openning Night, and The Gaiety Theatre Christmas Party and let me tell you, I used to love these things. I felt involved when I went to these things but always felt out of place for some reason but still I loved it. People in theatre are nuts, they are larger than life, quick-witted characters and I loved it ever since I was a kid. But I have now been doing this professionally now for 7 years and the excitement is starting to fade. Ye know why? Because I am coming around to the fact that I have fuck all to say to anyone any more. I have no interest.

But this is what I am trying to figure out, do people think I'm a cunt or do I think they are and the conversation is just not worth it any more. Ye know what? I think it’s a little bit of both but more so the latter.

For years, my folks always said to me, 'I don't know why your going into this business, it a horrible business.' and for years, in my head, I'd say 'What are they talking about? It's deadly crack.' and it's only now I am realising that there are more cunts than cool people in it.

When you meet the cool people, they are the best, sound as fuck and more crack than you can have with a person. They will be your mate for the rest of your life but honestly they are few and far between. You will meet the biggest egos, the rudest bastards and the most self centred cunts you are ever likely to meet. And I know what you must be thinking, this guy is one bitter bloke well, you know what, I'm not. I had it handy in this business. I've got away with murder. I'm just bored of it.

The bottom line of what I'm trying to say is - Can everyone just stop being such a cunt and would ever just GET OVER THEMSELVES! Your living in Dublin, please stop because my toes are curling up the wrong way.