Between the Canals and a Hard Place

Okay, I want to tell you a story about a film I saw just there, this film is probably, without a doubt, one of the worst piece of cinema I have ever seen in my life and that is saying a lot. This movie was so incredibly awful that I actually don't know where to start. I don't know where to go with this blog.



The film in question is Between the Canals. Now, let me give you a brief run down of the story. In the first fifteen minutes of screen time, yes, fifteen minutes of screen time, we are introduced to three of our main characters, Dots, Liam and Scratchcard . . . . Yes, Scratchcard is one of our leading characters. In this first fifteen minutes what do they do? What do they do, you ask me. They buy three cans, not each, but between them. Thats about it

Liam is supposed to be the protagonist, the guy you believe might have a shred of decency in him but we are only given this impression because the other two are such filthy scumbags. We then move onto the character of Dots, who is Liam's best mate, he is missing teeth, wears a Paddy cap, wears bling bling gold jewellery and is a reprehensible little cunt with not one redeeming quality. From the moment you meet this character, you are counting the minutes to his demise; in fact, I have never wanted a character in a film to get it so badly, it was the only reason I stayed watching. And onto the Scratchcard character, this guy is like a middle ground between the other two; he is the real fuckin idiot of the three, just a moron, pure and simple. The guy who they take the piss out of. I'm telling you right now, if I was known as the thick one in this threesome, I would be ending it all pretty shortly.

Just to give you a timeline, the film starts on the morning of Paddy's Day and ends pretty much the same time on the following day, so the film is over the course of 24 hours and I cannot tell you the amount of nothingness that happens within that time.

Now, the first fifteen minutes pass, the lads have bought cans, Dots has sold a robbed phone to a bunch kids for a fiver and he has also tazered a junkie with a cattle prod. This is where we are at and I am thinking at this stage, where the fuck is this thing going because the charisma of these actors is not exactly enough to hook me at this stage. In fact, I've never seen acting quite like it. These guys were acting like the director strolled into the nearest block of flats in town with film crew and hand picked three of the first scumbags he could find, showed them the script and asked them to do it with no rehearsal what so ever. I know Ken Loach does this the whole time but, sadly, this is not a Ken Loach movie.

Enter a little plot line, Liam, our leading man, spots this bird with a pram and runs over to her. She is the love interest. He is the kid’s father and obviously hasn't been paying them any attention to them since the kid has been born. We also find out in this conversation that Liam has come from his Uncles funeral the day previous to this scene; his uncle was a criminal and was murdered. He tells the girl to fuck off and off he goes with the lads on the piss with their three cans of Hackenberg.

Now we are about twenty minutes in and the lads arrive at this pool hall, the guy behind the counter is old and asleep, they see if they can rob him but there is nothing to rob. Dots goes in and plays a computer roulette machine and wins €80 on his first go, the guy wakes up and tells them to get out because Dots is barred for selling drugs in there the last day and he rips up Dots' winning ticket. They kick the shit out of him, then enter two known gangsters and they get into a fight with the lads, as the gangsters know the poor owner of this pool hall and want to help him. They get the better of these two gangsters and they leggit. The gangsters then head back to their superiors and the lads are now wanted lads in Dublin on Paddys Day. Oh no, boo hoo, I don't care what happens to these idiots at this point, they deserve anything they get at this stage. Now that is the height of the narrative for the whole movie.

I would like to add that it is Paddys Day and you see very little evidence that it is Paddys Day, on occasion you might see two drunk trannys with paraphernalia from Carroll's Gift Shop on walking by and I think we have a scene in a pub with two Americans but that is about it except for the fact that the words 'Paddy's Day' is in every second line of dialogue.

I'm not going to go any further with the story because number 1, I'm not the type to be ruining films, if that’s what you want to call this piece of shit and number 2, I'm just getting bored even remembering it at this stage. From there, we have a bunch of just random stuff happening for the rest of the movie, one of them gets a gun, one of them is offered a job by a gangster, one of them gets a hiding that was quite soft, if you ask me, not exactly the hiding he deserved, and then some where near the end they are delivering a load of coke to this Nigerian bisexual who is snorting the Charlie off the end of a machete. The whole thing is so morto, it's actually hilarious. In fact, it's like a spoof movie, a parody of Irish movies.



The bottom line is this film was financed by the Irish Film Board, was accepted into the Jameson Irish Film Festival and now, has a cinema release. I just don't know what to say, I really don't . . . . . I really don't. Who is running things here? I really do scratch my head when it comes to this shit. I am shocked and appalled. If anyone goes to this film and likes it, which plenty of people have, I just read a glowing review from the Irish Times just there, you people need to have a lobotomy, that is if you haven't had one already. You need to stop this ridicules sentimentality for the Irish Film Industry, we are better than this; we are so much better then this.

We Can Do It

Right, Trapp has announced his 29 man squad, the squad that will be responsible for, firstly, taking the Macedonians out of the running in our group and, secondly, they will also be responsible for keeping us in with a chance of topping the group. Victory against Macedonia is essential to this campaign, just as it was with Armenia & Andorra.

If we look at the Macedonian team, we should be hockeying the fuck out of them to be honest; most of their players are playing in Eastern European Leagues with most of them coming from the Cyprus National League and Azerbaijan National League. The only danger is their Captain Fantastic, Goran Pandev, the man responsible for pulling Inter out of that hole they were in against Bayan Munich



Here is the 29 man squad -

Goalkeepers
Westwood (Coventry), Randolph (Motherwell), Forde (Millwall)

Defenders
Foley (Wolves), O'Shea (Man Utd), Clark (Aston Villa), Coleman (Everton), Dunne (Aston Villa), St Ledger (Preston), O'Dea (Ipswich), Kelly (Fulham), Kilbane (Huddersfield), Wilson (Stoke)

Midfielder
Gibson (Man Utd), Whelan (Stoke), Green (Derby County), Laurence (Portsmouth), MacCarthy (Wigan), MacGeady (Spartak), Treacy (Preston), Andrews (Blackburn), Fahey (Birmingham), Duff (Fulham)

Striker
Keane (West Ham), Walters (Stoke), Doyle (Wolves), Long (Reading), Best (Newcastle), Keogh (Bristol City)

First thing that jumps out at you is, obviously, no Given. Who do we pick in goal? Everyone in the media is saying Coventry's Kieran Westwood who already has 5 Irish caps to date but, I'm thinking, this guys is in goal for Coventry who haven't been exactly playing well this season, they are two places from relegation in the Championship. This new guy, Randolph, who has had pretty successful season at Motherwell, they are in the top half of the Scottish Premiership and he's playing every game. I say give this guy a go. So my choice for at least the Uruguay game is Bray-born goalkeeper is Darren Randolph, give him a run out.

Onto my pick for central defenders, Dunne has today and tomorrow to prove to Trapp that he's fit, he has my vote to take that first Centre Back place, if he recovers in time that is, wishful thinking, I love John O'Shea in that central role rather than on the right, we have plenty of cover of the right so I want him in the centre. There are other good options in the centre, though. Marc Wilson has been playing savage for Stoke, particularly well in that 4-0 thrashing of Newcastle at the weekend. I would worry about giving it to St Ledger as Preston are rooted to the foot of Championship, letting in 65 goals in 36 games, that is not the best by any stretch. And as for Darren O'Dea, who has been gracefully warming the Ipswich bench for the season, well, he can just ger ow of it.

We have an abundance of players that can fit into the wide defender roles. Right back, we, of course, have O'Shea, who I have already put in the centre, but we also have Foley who has been playing week in - week out for Wolves and even though they are at the foot of the Premiership, they have been playing well all season. Seamus Coleman has been playing amazingly for Everton and will have to feature in the Irish set-up regularly for the foreseeable future but I believe he belongs at Right Midfield but he is good cover. The other cover at right back is Fulham's Stephan Kelly, who I am confident enough in. We have a fountain of talent at left back, first on the team sheet has got to be Villa's left back, Ciaran Clark, he has had a great season so far scoring 3 goals this season, one of them being that whopper against Arsenal. Marc Wilson, the Stoke defender, can also cover in this position but the one thing I can’t understand is the presence of Kevin Kilbane, I know we Irish are sentimental but this is ridicules. Kilbane has played 17 of Hudderfield's 38 games this season in League One . . . League One. Where the fuck is Stephen Ward? Not only has Stephen Ward been playing left back for Wolves all season in the Premiership but he can also cover at Left Wing, Defensive Midfield & Striker. We also drastically need Greg Cunningham to find another club, pronto.

Onto midfield, Centre Midfield,

Before we weight up our options here, we need to get onto this buzz, I like to call it the Jamie O'Hara buzz - http://www.joe.ie/football/international-football/jamie-ohara-admits-hes-up-for-playing-for-ireland-009880-1



Anyway . . .

Everyone is gagging to see the competitive debut of one James MacCarthy, he played well at the weekend and I have no doubt he will start on Saturday. His partner in the centre will be the defensive Stoke midfielder, Glenn Whelan, believe it or not but Whelan is growing on me. He is playing regular football for Stoke and he is playing well, I would be confident with these two in the centre against Macedonia. But if that doesn't work out, who do we have in cover? I think Andrews got another injury so he looks like he's gonna miss out, Gibson, eeehhhh, he's got a good shot and he's playing at one of the top clubs in the world but not enough to hang your hat on. Not to get back to something I've already touched on but we have to get onto this Jamie O'Hara buzz, pronto! We cant get away from that, I don't want to be relying on the likes of Paul Green when we're coming up against Russia or Slovakia in 6 months time, there are others that we can have in there and that are playing regularly in the Premiership - Stephen Ward, Andy Reid, Stephen Reid & Rory Delap, they should all be considered.

Out wide again, we have a wealth of talent to choose from, on the right, Seamus Coleman who is probably on his way to becoming Everton's player of the season is a defo, with cover from Liam Laurence who has been solid for Portsmouth with 7 goals this season and Spartak Moscow's Aiden McGeady as well, it is safe to say we have the position of Right-Mid covered for a few years - especially when there are other players thinking of claiming - 'Jermaine Pennant, I'm looking at you.'



The Left, we have good'oul Duffer, a bit injury prone in his old age but solid as fuck, and he's been getting a few goals of late for Fulham, but when Damien is out of action, what do we do? You need not have any fear with cover from the likes of Birmingham's Keith Fahey who just won himself a Carling Cup medal and young Keith Tracey, okay, like St Ledger, he plays for Preston who are not exactly Top of the Pops at the moment but the one time Tracey put on the green shirt, he didn't look too bad, speedy, Terry Phelean style. There is also the injured Stephen Hunt who can play on both sides; we are truly blessed for wide players in this squad.

And finally, we look at our front two. Obviously, the question on everyone’s lips is do we play Keane, our fearless leader. I think for the moment, we have to play him. His influence on the team is huge and I believe, when he gets his shit together and starts banging in the goals for West Ham, we will be laughing at the idea of even considering dropping him. Partnering him, we will have Kevin Doyle beside him, who hasn't been as prolific as some of the others in the squad but deserves the place. The other options on the bench, firstly, Shane Long, he has banged in 20 goals in 40 games this season, pretty fuckin sweet, he should be next choice after Keane and Doyle. Then there is Leon Best with his 6 goals in his last 7 games, pretty deadly, and that Jonathon Walters is not looking to bad as well for Stoke. Now, let’s forget about Andy Keogh for 2 seconds and lets have a look at another player, he should be in here. Anthony Stokes at Celtic and what he has been at? Wanna know? Wanna Know? He has scored 12 goals in 23 games this season for Celtic. Now why the fuck is Bristol City boy, Andy Keogh, even being considered here over this dude, the cunt has scored 15 since 2008. Anthony Stokes all the way.

The bottom line is, after this analysis, I am pleasantly optimistic, I’m confident with this bunch of players, just a few trims here and there and we should have a tasty looking squad, a squad well capable of winning this group and certainly able to kick three colours of shite out of Macedonia on Saturday. For the Uruguay game, Trapp should start a lot of the new boys, all the covering players, Best, Long, Fahey, Wilson etc. I am hopeful; we seriously need a Champion Finals. Come on Ireland!

Best Idea Dublin Has Ever Had

Something has happened in Dublin over the last 2 or 3 months, I don't know if anyone has noticed this but people who travel by bus in this city seem jollier, they seem less hostile, more friendly, more patient. You know why? I'll tell you, CIE have pulled off a piece of genius, they have finally done something that has made me want to just stroll into that office on O'Connell St and give them all a big round of applause, but I cant because that’s kind of weird. They have done something that could ease some of the tension and anguish in this city and boost morale of everyone. They are beginning to put these things on each and every bus stop in the city, you fucking legends.



Throughout my childhood on up through to my college years, waiting for buses for hours on end, not knowing when the bastards were going to come, was pretty much a daily experience for me. I cannot tell you what it was like, and I hear what you’re probably saying, 'What buses were you taking, man?' I used to get some of the worst buses on the fucking planet, for instance - to kick it off, the 16 from St. Enda's Park in Rathfarnham, this stop used to be the terminus so if there wasn't a bus there, you were waiting for ages. You never knew how long the next bus was going to be, has one just left or is there one just around the corner, it didn’t matter because the bus driver always had a five or ten minute chill out when he got there anyway. It was a nightmare and if you wanted to get the 16A, you had to trek down to St. Mary’s at the end of Nutgrove Avenue and in doing that, you might loose concentration and miss the 16 coming from behind you.



The 44A from Dundrum, for about 6 months when we were about 15, myself and my mates used to wait and wait and wait for this particular bus that went up to Enniskerry. I swear to God, this bus came about 3 times a day and there was no timetable on the bus stop but we still waited. Why? I hear you ask. Well, there was a hot bunch of birds up in Enniskerry at the time and they wanted to score us and we weren't missing out on that for the life of us, so we would wait, for sometimes, a couple of hours, I am not joking. Sometimes when we would be in town, hanging around, we'd see a 44A and we would point at it like it was the abominable snowman or something, I still do to this day.



Let's move onto the bus of many names that took me to school in Rathgar, it started as the 47, then the 47a, then it was the 15C and finally the 74A. Not that this bus was irregular, it was just unreliable. You could be standing there for a half hour and then three of the bastards would come along at the same time. Absolute bullshit!



Then finally onto my college years, I had to take this bus we used to call the 'Rags to Riches', it went from Ballsbridge to Ballyfermot, the 18, I used to jump on at Harold's Cross and this was a nightmare of the highest degree. I used to play a game with myself to help me through the waiting, if I sparked up a smoke, by the end of it, the bus would appear around the corner, if I was playing a tune on my ‘mini-disc player’, by the end of the tune, I would be stepping onto the bus and when the bus didn't arrive, I would be genuinely fuming. I would be in a fowler going into college.



I remember standing at all these bus stops over the years, coming up with inventions in my head, inventions where you would know exactly where the nearest bus was and when it was going to arrive. There is something about knowing when it is coming, even if it is twenty minutes, at least you know, you can go get a coffee and you don’t have to stand there like tit just waiting. Then the Luas came along and they had them installed at every station. Savage! Bus stops had to be next.

One thing I can’t understand is, how are they are affording all this? It just goes to show that the oul public transport department of Ireland are not so short of cashola, even in these times of, dare I say it, resession. Imagine how much it would costs to put one of those things up on each bus stop in Dublin. That’s a good question actually, How many bus stops are there in Dublin? And how much does one of those things cost.

But listen to this, my mate, Jordi and myself were discussing these new phenomenons, we were, through conversation, celebrating their brilliance when Jordi dropped this bombshell on me. There is this . . . . department, I don't know, in charge of Irish culture, the Irish language or something. I'm going to have to research this more. But, supposedly, they are making CIE take all the ones that are up, down again because the destinations are in English, . . . . . get the fuck out of it. If this is the case, CIE should just tell them to piss off; this is more money, more of the same bureaucratic bullshit that has been wasting the money of this country to date.

Here is the link, thanks Jordi - http://www.herald.ie/national-news/city-news/gaeilgeoir-protests-delay-new-bus-signs-2578542.html



Anyway, I want to finish this blog on a positive note. The whole idea is brilliant and as a person who takes the bus all the time, I salute you, genius, absolute genius. My life has been made so much easier. I can’t wait until they all have them.

Soundtrack Recommendation

Not only is this a soundtrack recommendation but, if you haven't seen the film, it is also a film recommendation. The Thin Red Line is without a shadow of a doubt the best war movie of all time, nipping Apocolypse Now at the post. One of the reasons I have given it this title is the amazing soundtrack, a soundtrack that I downloaded the fuck out of this morning. Here is a sample - It is absolutely deadly

The Summer is Nigh

You know the summer is coming when you hear the Electric Picnic line-up being announced, the summer is on its way and I cannot wait. Even when I look out my balcony window now, it is pissing from the heavens, I haven't seen rain quite like it in 2011 as of yet. It is what my grandfather would of called 'very wet rain'.

'Jaysus, that’s shockin wet rain, that is. I'm tellin ye, you'd get awful wet in that.'

But my point is, rain or no fucking rain, the summer is coming, and it will be here before we know it. It will be savage.

The 2 moments, I believe, that are synonymous with the coming of the summer are, they're not the tweeting of the birds or the warm breeze in your face. They are the Paddy's Day session in the Bernard Shaw and the announcement of the Electric Picnic line-up. Do you think they come within a week of each other for the good of their health, bollix, they kick it off like a motherfucker, they get everybody pepped for the next 6 months unadulterated fun. Let's go!

Electric Picnic 2011 from Electric Picnic on Vimeo.

I have to say the line-up for this year's Picnic has not captured my imagination. If I'm gonna be honest, it hasn't for the last few years, okay, Leftfield was ridicules last year but since 2007, the Picnic line-up hasn't been blowing me away, but who gives a bollix, when it comes down to it, it's very rarely about the line-up but were gonna talk about it anyway

Let’s look at the line-up

The main headliners -

Arcade Fire - the more commercial act of the lot, they won a shit load of awards and had a massive album, lots of cullchies will love this addition to the line-up. I think the last time they were at the Picnic it was the second one, back in 2005 and they were . . . . . . . pleasant.

Pulp - The usual nostalgic act that always finds itself on the Picnic line-up, I love Pulp and I cannot wait to see this show. It will be like going to see the Pet Shop Boys a few years ago, everyone knows the tunes, everyone singing the tunes, it will be a buzz.

The Chemical Brothers - I don't know what it is about the Chemical Brothers but even though they have only played the Picnic the once, it seems like they play it every year, if that makes sense. They will be good, they always are.

Interpol - Never really gave this band a chance and I probably never will, I couldn't give a bollix about them.

PJ Harvey - Okay, if I told you that there was a chance of me checking out PJ Harvey whenever she is on on the weekend, I would probably be lying to you. Not an act to be sticking in the headliners list.

Beirut - Again, this is an act, I have yet to consider, I haven't given them the time of day, but if someone was going to them over the weekend, I’d probably join them. I hope to get to know more over the coming months.

Other big acts -

DJ Shadow - Sometimes I feel Hip-Hop finds it hard to fit in or have an impact at a festival. Saying that J-5 were unreal at the first Picnic - Bring Back J-5 - but I went to see DJ Shadow twice over my years at the Picnic and both times, I felt bored shitless to be perfectly honest. I probably won't be attending this on the weekend.

The Charlatans - This band, and I know a lot of people disagree with me, I think are sweet, they have a fuck load of tunes I love, I've never seen them before and a bit of Brit Pop at a festival never hurt anyone. Pulp aren't enough. I will be here 100%


Sinead O'Connor - If I'm not mistaken, she is like Mundy, she plays pretty much every year and I always miss the baldy bitch. I always threaten to check her out, just out of curiosity but I never get around to it. I'm probably too busy getting cosmic at the Bacardi Bar. Will probably miss it again this year for similar reasons but if I so happened to be walking by, I might pop in.

Death in Vagas - I love this act and I've never got the chance to see them, I have been listening to The Contino Sessions & Scorpio Rising for years and I can’t wait to check them out live. I hope they are on early in the day but either way I'll be giving them a gander


Boyz Noize - Depends how I’m feeling, it's been a while. Last time I saw Boyz Noize was at the 2007 Trinity Ball and to say we were reaching for the lasers would be an understatement, good buzz, if I haven't worn myself to a thread by the time they are on.

Paul Kalkbrenner - The highlight of the weekend for me, I cannot wait to see this cunt. He is fucking savage, I got into him after seeing a film that he wrote, directed, scored and stared in, called Berlin Calling. He is the one I reckon going to be the talk of the festival. I will not be missing this for the life of me. Check out this scene from a festival in the movie.


Trentemoller - My mate, Aaron's choice of the line-up, I know his stuff and will be defo checking it out

Adam Beyer - Depends on my mood, if he is on on the Sunday Night, you can forget it.

Dave Clacke - The same as Beyer, it all depends on what night he is on. I'm very fragile on the last night.

Gavin Friday - 6 months ago, I would of rather stick pins in my eyes but I saw a very good documentary about Bono's best mate, Gavin Friday, and his band sounded a bit interesting, The Virgin Prunes. Like Sinead, only if I'm walking by

If you ask me, I think a few more big acts need to be added over the next couple of months, not massive acts but if they want people to buy tickets worth 250 yoyos, well, you got to entice them more. At the end of the day, I couldn't give a toss about the line-up; I very rarely see any of the acts anyway. I spent most of my weekend last year in the Movember Tent, listening to the likes of Russell and Aido and Chewy so not to worry Electric Picnic, I don't mind. What it has done is excite the balls off me. I can’t wait for the fucking Picnic! I can’t wait for the fucking summer!

NY77 - The Coolest Year in Hell

I caught this documentary a while ago on VH1 and thought it was fucking savage but could never find it again on the internet . . . . until now. I headed onto the This Greedy Pig web-site (http://www.thisgreedypig.com), onto their blog page and low and behold there it was, there it was staring me in the face. Check this bad boi out because, for the next hour and a half I am gonna let 1977 New York wash over me. Thanks Lads - here is the link

http://www.thisgreedypig.com/ny77-the-coolest-year-in-hell/

Recommended Tune - Lindstrom

Last weekend was my mate, Aaron's Birthday, we started things in a very civilized manner, with a nice meal in Green Nineteen, tasty food, good service and very affordable. We did the cake thing, brought the bike out, we bought it for Aaron a few days earlier, everyone was having a fine celebration.

Then onto Sean MacD's in Harold's Cross for plenty of fun and frollix, where Greg and Aaron are running their night, Native Tongues. No mad clubbing, just a pub with good tunes and a decent smoking section. Anyway, about halfway through the night, there is Rubio, giving everything he's got on the decks and he plays this tune. I know it as well as can be, I've heard it being played a million times, it's just I've never known the name of it. 'I fucking love this track.' I said to myself, and with that my attention was dragged else where so I never got to ask Rubio what the name of it was.

About 5 hours later, we are all squeezed into Aaron & Rubio's cottage, I'm swaying left and right at this stage, there is Conor Dunne giving it as much of his all as Rubio was back in the place and what do you know, on comes this tune again. 'Fuckin Hell, that tune is savage.' I thought. I gander over and there is Damo, dancing with a look of sheer passion on his face to the tune. I look over, I clock his eye -

'What a fucking tune, bro!' I say

And he replies 'Fucking savage, man, spacey as fuck'

'Yeah, a real fuckin Blade Runner quality about it.' I say

And on we go about how deadly the tune is. I get the name of the track off Damo and by the time, I finish up at the session, back in mine, then bed, up the next day, I completely forget it. There I am texting Damo, Rubio and Conor Dunne like a mad yoke the next day, trying to get the name of this fucking track again. Damo is the first to get back to me and he has no recollection of even having a conversation with me at the party, Rubio sends me the names of 3 tunes that could not of been further from the tune and third time lucky, Conor Dunne texts - 'I think ur talkin about Lindstrom - I Feel Space' and he was right - Get this beast into you!

Movie Recommandation - Vicki Christina Barca

I have recently had the pleasure of experiencing Sky Movies for the last 2 weeks and, okay, 30 squid a month is a little affluant for my current income but let me tell you, it is worth it, it is amazing. I woke up the other night at about 4am, couldn't get back to sleep, I was pacing the gaf, on my second cup of tea, I knew I wasn't getting back to sleep, simple as that. I flicked the TV on, expecting the only thing on to be the Sky Sports News carosel but no, I forgot . . . . . . . for a few minutes I had completely forgotten about the Sky Movies, get the fuck in there, you little beauty. Firstly, I thought to myself, 'Ye know what, they will be showing nothing but bollix on at this time.' Oh my God, was I wrong. I watched Vicki Christina Barcalona, I thought it was fucking savage and I thought to myself, what a great way to start a day. So if anyone is looking for solid movie to watch over the coming weekend, checkout Woody Allen's best movie he has done in years - Vicki Christina Barcalona - PS For the rest of the day, I was fucking knackered.

Tune Recommendation - Number 1

Andy Durkan played this track for me there a few months ago, it was the wee hours of the morning, everyone needed a whopper tune that was going to lift the spirits of the party, to say the least, it worked. I thought it was kick ass, Check it out

Recommended Movie - Number 1

If you are looking for a sweet ass movie at any stage this week, check this out. Sean Penn's last movie, Into The Wild.

Video Project

Today, myself and my bro, Max, start our long talked about video project that is going to talk our lifetime to complete, we are finally getting the finger out and actually starting it. It is going to take a full life time to do, but I reckon it will be worth it, even if we don't get to see the finished product ourselves.

This also means that some of the people that I know and respect will not get to see it either. In fact, now that I think about it, the only people that are really going to give a bollix about it, is some wanky generation that is yet to be born. I will be there, on my death bed, dying of some horrible incurable disease that has yet to come along and it is really, really painful, some arty little shit will be in my face telling me how deadly the idea is. I will be unable to talk because this disease will probably effect the mouth, but I will be thinking very cynical thoughts at that moment.

Lets Go! Hope the little shit is out of bed

Oscar This

After a nice weekends sessioning that began with the Man Utd - Wigan game on Saturday afternoon in Coffeys gaf, myself and Shocko found ourselves 2 pubs and 3 gaffs later on my couch, surrounded by passed out mates and we were engaging in some seriously in-depth chatter about this year's films. There we were, feet up, chilling, after spending 45 euro on nine Cobra beers from that Indian in Portobello, awaiting the announcement of this years academy awards.


I didn't want this year to be the same as every other year, me sitting there, awake, scanning the internet for the Oscars live and failing miserably. I don't know, why is it I get so frantic about watching them, I have to see them and I have to see them live. I hate those edited hour long versions on RTE the next night, they always get someone who has had a lobotomy to edit the thing. The funny thing is on the rare occasion where I actually get to watch them live; I do nothing but roar obscenities at the TV or bitch to whoever it is I'm with, about how shallow and crass the whole fuckin thing is. I can’t explain it, I just want it, I don't want to miss it, I can’t do with out it. So what did I do, I ring up Sky

'Hello, Sky.'

'Eh, Hi . . . how much is it to get the movies.

'It is thirty one euro a month.'

' . . . . . . . . Do I have to take them for the whole month?'

'Minimum a month, sir.'

'Okay, fuck it, give them to me.'

31 euro, . . . . . am I insane? . . . . Ah, to hell with it, I'll have the movies for a month aswell as the Oscars, so not all bad. I’ll finally get to see the Human Centipede after all.



As always I tried to see as many of the films nominated as I possible before the faithful night and I didn't do too badly this year, everything bar True Grit & The Fighter. This year, the awards themselves looked to be bit obvious, very little surprises, Best Film & Best Director between Social Network & The Kings Speech, with the latter being the favourite and would end up taking it, weird because my money was on The Social Network.



First off, Tom Hooper has very little to his name if you ask me, The Damned United, one of the Prime Suspects and Eastenders and that’s about it. Not much to warrant a best director award, even if the Kings Speech is a quality movie. Remember this is the award that Kubrick, Hitchcock, Altman or Sergio never got, a disgrace. I believe the Best Director award is the only award that is given in the ceremony that past work kind of comes into play. It cant be flukey first movie, if it is to be your first movie, it better be pretty fuckin savage, and the Kings Speech certainly wasn’t that.



This brings me onto my second point, The Kings Speech is a quality movie, it is solid as a motherfucker, you can’t fault it. It's just a bit nice, but nice is good. It is also very lovely, but lovely is also good. It just didn't blow my bollix off if you know what I mean, but I do remember leaving the cinema with a spring in my step, thinking to myself - 'Yeah, that was worth the fiver (I know, a fiver, I love being a student). The film didn't give me that Best Film, Oscar buzz, the only Oscar buzz I got off it was Colin Firth which was a given, seeing that he gave the performance of his life in 'A Single Man' last year and missed to Jeff Bridges in, what I thought was an average performance in an average movie.



Another thing about The Kings Speech that made me doubt it, was that it wasn't The Social Network. To me, The Social Network had Oscar written all over it, it was the film of the year. Firstly, Fincher, it was to be Dave Fincher's time. Seven, The Game, Fight Club, Zodiac (I'm not going mention Benjamin Button, even though it's the only one he's been nominated for, coz I just thought it was muck) so that, if you look at it, is some back log of movies, and I'm afraid something tells me that Captain Nemo isn't gonna earn him another nod so this is gonna be the only nomination for a while.



Something else that had me waving The Social Network flag was the importance of the movie, the importance of Facebook in today’s society. Facebook, only over the last few weeks, had been the centre of communication for 3 Revolutions in Africa for fuck sake. Its existence has changed the world for the better and no one can deny that and something was telling me the Academy was going to give it some notoriety.



Also I believe the film was a better movie, and believe it or not, I couldn't stand it when I saw it first. It took the second viewing to realize, 'Holy Shit, this is a quality fucking movie.' The reason I hated the movie to begin with was the same reason I hated There Will Be Blood to begin with, I simply despised every character in the film. When I see a film for the first time, there is something in me, I don't know why, I have to, kind of, like the protagonist. Even if it is Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, for some reason, I kind of like him . . . . . . . . . eh, I think like is the wrong word . . . but you know what I mean. Just like Daniel in There Will Be Blood, I hated Mark Zukerberg, I hated Justin Timberlake and I fucking hated those twins. After the film, I didn't give a fuck about any of them, they were all so rich, they were all so talented, it angered me, I left fuming. For the next week, I'm waxing lyrical to everyone how I didn't like the movie and every where I turned, I was told to shut the fuck up and watch it again. I did, and guess what, I really liked it, in fact, I've watched it several times since including just before writing this blog and I love it. It is a quality ass movie and I was very disappointed it didn't take the the Oscars home in the end.



On the upside, as a massive West Wing fan, it was great to see Aaron Sorkin take the Screenplay award home, although I think he had that in the bag as Paddy Power had him at 1/20. Another award going to The Social Network was to the lead singer of a childhood band of mine, Nine Inch Nail's Trent Reznor for Original Score which a quality series of music, I downloaded the fuck out of it last week and it is kick ass.

Anyway, myself and Seamas skulled our extremely over-priced Cobra's, there was a hint of morning light through the window and as the ceremony came to a close so were our eye-lids, a fine way to end a 2 day bender if you ask me.