CIE - Constantly Irritating Ejjits

The door opens, myself and Tara stroll on

'Two one thirties to Harold's Cross, please.'

'What'

'Two one thirties to Harold's Cross.'

'What are you on about?'

'How much to Harold's Cross then?'

'One fifteen'

'Okay, Two one fifteen'

'That’s two thirty'

'Yeah, I know'

And the wanker shakes his head as if I'm supposed to know the fucking prices. Nothing happened there except the bus driver was being a cunt while doing his job. It's his job to tell what the prices are, or if not have some sort of notice up which I'm probably not going to read. Now take me to wherever the fuck I’m going and step on it because I have better things to be doing than standing here trying to figure out what smells so bad in here, you or that old lady with the beard.

And another thing that I just can't let go about the whole CIE bus area of my life is this new €50 cent inner city travel fare, I remember hearing about this and thinking, as person who does a considerable amount of inner city travelling by bus, that this was delightful idea and to whoever came up with the idea, you should be applauded. So there I was leaving a mates gaf to head into work, and when I say work, I mean dole office, waiting for a bus at Leonard's Corner. Along come a 16a, I jump on with my 50 cent.

'Aungier Street, please, inner city fare.'

The fucker scowls at me

'You're too far out'

'Sorry' says I

'You're too far out for inner city fare, you have to be in the inner city.' says he

'So Leonard's Corner isn't in Dublin City Centre.'

'No!'

'So when does the inner city start?' I says

'Georges Street'

'Okay, when does it end?

'Top of O'Connell Street'

Now, these are the kind of small things that I get presented with every day that make me want to go find someone who is selling guns, buy the most vicious weapons he has and just get medieval on the people of Dublin.

What is the fucking point in implementing a new inner city fare on Dublin Bus, have a whole advertising campaign around it, telling people what it is all about to realise when you use it, the fucker only entitles you to four fucking tops. I know Dublin is small but for fuck sake.

Dublin Inner City starts and ends at the canals, now, extend that fucker or I will.