Conspiracy Theorist at Work

Okay, here is my insane theory of the week, I have been bundling this around in my head since I got up this morning, and I can’t shake it, it’s a farfetched idea so just bear with me. Imagine this -

David Beckham is vaguely worried that his place on the England team is not secure. His competition to keep the place is unreal. He has Lennon, Young, Walcott, Wright-Philips, Milner, Downing & Gosling and he knows how many places are on the squad and He also knows how much the World Cup needs him to be apart of the tournament.

Fifa and all the sponsors associated are in the same boat, Beckham not being a part of the World Cup would be disaster; it would affect the whole tournament as far they are concerned. He is the world’s biggest football icon. They need him there. They need to be a part of it.

Now, Fabio Cappello is very aware that he is in charge of one of the favourites to lift the World Cup, he has the player that is playing the best football in the world, banging in goals for fun. He knows with the likes of Rooney playing the way he is. They are well on their way to winning the fucker; he is fully focused on that and that alone. There is no room for nostalgia, he will pick the best players and when I look at that list of players, David Beckham doesn't have a hope of making the squad, injury or no injury.

Now, here is the idea. Maybe Beckham faked the injury. I know, I know, hear me out. Just humour me for a second, just think about it, go with the idea of 2 minutes. Let’s say Fifa are saying we can’t afford to risk not having him in the tournament, which could very well happen. We can't just let that hang on Fabio's decision, whether he is goes or not. So what can we do? How about we remarket the whole thing, remarket Becks as this fallen hero of England, it might even take some attention away from the John Terry fiasco. He'll fake the injury, a big fucking hoopla will be made from it and Capello will offer to bring him, not as a member of the team but an ambassador to the team. An icon that will help th . . . . . . . . Wait a minute; what the fuck am I talking about, this is just farcical, as I'm going over it in my head, as I try to write this thing down, it gets more and more ridicules. The amount of people that would have to be in on this is insane, a load of people from AC Milan, a load of people from LA Galaxy and a shit load from the World Cup. What was I thinking? Trying to keep that many people quiet would be impossible. I swear I have been thinking about this all day and I thought I was onto something. I've got to calm down, that all it is. Jack, just calm the fuck down. Ye know what I got to do, don't you? I've gotta start focusing my mind on more important things, more important issues, maybe get a little bit more constructive with my time. Like, when was the last time I went for run, fucking ages. When was the last time I got any proper exercise at all? I have got to get my shit together in that department but I have no runners, I can't go for a run in a pair of fucking Converse, can I? I would look like such a spa. Fuck it; I’m sure it will be grand.