Day 2 of the new job. I really had fuck all to do today but one thing I had to do, was to see if it was possible to get the roof garden open at the top of the building, our rehearsal space is on the fourth floor and the canteen is on the first so it would just be easier if everyone was able to eat their lunch out on the roof garden and with this weather, it would be perfect.
I stroll down to the front door man and ask, politely
‘Excuse me, my good man, but would it be possible for my colleagues and myself to consume our lunches upon your exquisite roof garden.’
He just stares at me, smiles and just starts shaking his head. No words, no reason, just a bitter little shit behind a desk, shaking his head, going out of his way to be a cunt.
‘Okay,’ I say ‘Who can I speak to about this?’
He shrugs his shoulders like he wasn’t even listening to me. I stare back at him for a
couple of seconds with a look of sheer disbelief. I go up to the admin offices up on the second floor. I knock in.
‘Hi, I am working in Workshop 5 on the 4th floor. I was wondering would it be possible if we were able to use the balcony at lunch’
The girl behind a desk looks at me.
‘No,’ she says, ‘health and safety.’
‘I’m a qualified health and safety officer,’ I say to your one, which I am not. I know First Aid but that is about it.
‘Sorry,’ we can’t.’
I leave and head back up to my rehearsal room and let the room know of the reasons why grown adults can’t go out on a standard, run of the mill roof terrace.
Then it dawns on me –
‘Why the fuck did they have a balcony?’
All the people in the building, bar the 2 girls in the admin department and that sound cunt on the door, are exactly like me and I’m pretty sure that this is the case throughout the week. Why the fuck do you have the balcony, lads? Why the fuck do you have it? You have it to wined me up, aren’t you? And winding me you are.
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