Roy For Prez

Let a new day begin for Liverpool Football Club – a new era, a new season, a new manager and hopefully new owners. Owners with a bit of cash and something tells me they’re a club that won’t be loosing the plot, they won’t become a Man City. The fan base just wouldn’t stand for it, there would be absolute up roar.

Torres and Gerard have committed themselves for the foreseeable future. That is some whopper boost for that team’s morale, loosing one of them would have probably unsettled the other and sent Liverpool into mid table misery for the next decade. They were both essential to this next campaign.

Aswell, it doesn’t look like anyone is in too much of a rush to sign Mascharano either, with that 30 million pound price tag around his neck, I don’t know, we are hearing about these connections with Inter but I have a weird feeling that he will be there at Liverpool for the first half of the season at least, and if he goes, ‘So! Who gives a shit?’ Liverpool would then have plenty of cash to then go off and replace him with a more youthful, cheaper, promising defensive midfielder like Lee Cattermole or Nigel De Jong or Tom Huddlestone and if I’m not mistaken they are looking at Christian Poulsen from Juva.

One big loss for Liverpool, I thought, was Yossi Benayoun who was a top player for the club, the only player in my opinion on Liverpool’s bench whoever came off it and made any impact. But if you were to have asked me six months ago whether I would prefair him or Joe Cole on my team, I would of gone Joe Cole every single time. Joe Cole is the ultimate impact player and he will also give them another option when it comes to the formation, it will give Gerard the opportunity to drop back into midfield. I thought Liverpool relied way too much on the Torres / Gerard strike force last year which was one of the main reasons for their season being so unsuccessful. It was their only option. This season it will be different.

They have also made some other very interesting signings. First off, the big Serbian forward, Milan Jovanovic who had good World Cup and what I have seen of him in the 2 legs against that Macadonian team was very impressive; he is very strong and again gives them a completely new option up front. Last season, Liverpool’s attack was all over the gaf and, in my opinion, it has been that way ever since they got rid of Robbie Keane. Yes, they had Torres, one of the best strikers in the world, partnering up with one of the best players the premiership has ever seen, Stevie G but that was about it. You left any sort of support or cover on the bench in the hands of a poor unfortunate 18 year old, Ngog, who in my opinion did alright considering that he’s only a downy chizzler. I’m not even going to bring up Babel, he needs to go asap. Pronto. I just don’t like that player at all. Every time he stood off the bench last season, when Liverpool desperately needed a goal. They would be a goal down against Birmingham at home and up he would stand. I just knew every time, he would go on and do fuck all. That is all different this year. Torres, Jovanovic, Gerrard, Cole, even Ngog, who I think will start to mature after being broken in so harshly last season and lets not forget Dirk but what he has been doing on the wing has been brilliant and is where he belongs, I reckon.

Other signing that I think have been interesting are the signings of 18 years old, Danny Wilson and 17 year old, Jonjo Shelvey (who does not look 17) who are both very well established at their young age. Danny Wilson pretty much played every game for Rangers last season, winning the Scottish treble and also featuring in the Champions League, I think he holds the record for the youngest player ever to feature in the Champions League. Jonjo Shelvey, the youngest player and goal scorer in Charlton Athletic’s history. Last season at the age of 16, he scored 7 goals for Charlton from the central midfield position; I will be looking forward to seeing him grow into the quality player everyone is saying he will become. They will both probably only feature in the FA Cup and Carling Cup but good young cover.

There are some players that featured last season aswell that just had a bad season and with this new era, I think the pressure will now be off and they will surprise people, they will raise their game. Number 1 on the list is Alberto Aquilani. Last season must have been hell for that chunfella. What did they spend? 19 million pounds. For Liverpool to be spending that kind of money, the fans want to see it on the pitch. The bloke, for the first half of the season, just couldn’t shake that injury and for the second, he just couldn’t get into his stride but in a couple of games towards the end of the season, he started to show promise

I also hope Glen Johnson has a good season, I really think in order to do that Roy needs to buy on the right side defence. That guy, Kelly, I don’t know if he is strong enough to contest Johnson’s position. I don’t know who you’d get. Luke Young would be sweet.

But the one man that is going to bring real change to Liverpool is Roy Hodgeson. Their best signing of the summer. The club needed someone like Roy Hodgeson. The team needed it, the club needed it, the fans needed it. What an ideal man to steady the ship. Roy will build a solid team and he will let the players express themselves, something they weren’t allowed do under Benitez. He will hold a personnel relationship with each and every player as aside to treating them like robots. Roy was the best man for that job, there is no doubt in my mind.

I really think Liverpool are going to surprise people this year, I think they are going to be up there and contesting for the title and at 16 / 1 to win the premier league on BetFred.com, lets just say, I know where I will be sticking my money this week. You are never gonna get Liverpool at a better price. You stick a €20 on that; you will take home €320 if it comes in. You stick €50 on it, you take home €800.

I don’t know about you but I can’t fucking wait for this season!

DJ my balls

I want to speak ever so briefly about DJing and what it is to be a DJ. What is your job as a DJ? What’s the point of you even being there? Why don't we just have some chun stick on a playlist at the party or the club? Why are you there? The answer to that question is very simple but there are a lot of people out there that don't know the answer and a lot of them are DJs.

Over the last few years, I've seen some of the best DJs and producers in the world, I've seen them be amazing and I've seen them be absolutely terrible. They went into the club, they got up onto the decks and they either nailed it or they flopped. They were given 2 hours to entertain the crowd with the music that they thought would grab the club by the balls and that was that.

Afterwards you would go to an after party and people would be DJing at these parties. They had a set, the key to the whole thing was that they had a set and the parties were going fuckin wild, they were amazing. Everyone was listening to what was being played, the tunes were being played in good sequence because it was coming from one bloke. He, whoever it might of been, was building up the party with what he thought would hit the spot, he either got it or he didn't. He had the time to do it. That's what made those parties for me, anyway. Now I can't remember the last time I hung out in one of those rooms in a gaf.

Now, I don't know if I'm going to the wrong parties these days or what, but I am seeing less and less of this carry on. All I see at sessions these days are cunts climbing over each other to play the next tune. 'Me Next, Me Next!' There would be a new cunt behind the decks every second tune. Nobody would be listening, the tunes would be all over the place because of the rotation of styles circulating around the fucking decks, to a point that whenever a person would finally find themselves in front of the decks, they are so fucking happy that they have finally gotten there, they don't give a fuck what the buzz is. They cant! After a half hours cuing, playing that tune that they have wanted to play so badly is the only thing on their minds. They don't give a fuck about whether people are gonna want to hear it or not, they just want to play it regardless, whether it suits the buzz or not.

I see this shit going on in a few bars as well, people jumping in and out of the DJ boxes like the clappers, and there is nothing worse when they’re not even doing anything when they are in there, they're just chilling there or are chatting to the dude playing. Get the fuck out from behind the DJ box if you’re not DJing, will ye. There is nothing more annoying to a non DJ than watching a bunch of fucking DJs just hanging around the DJ box, like some little DJ click reminding everyone that they are all DJs, don’t forget now.

Get out of there, what are you doing in there. There should be only one cunt behind those decks, he should be there on his own for his set or else he shouldn't be there at all, we should just stick on an itunes playlist. I've got a few sweet little playlists on my itunes if you fancy, I'll go behind there and press play if you want me to, I'll do it. Get out of there!

King of Kong Documentary

If your looking for a documentary to check out over the next while, get a load of this, King of Kong is the story of this ordinary science teacher from Seattle, married with kids, who has decided one day to try and surpass the highest score in Donkey Kong which has been held for 25 years by one the most respected video gamers in the world. It was recommended to by my mate, Emmet, there about a month ago, I never thought it was gonna be any use but I just watched this morning and I fucking loved it. Definitely check it out.

I will give you a link to a page where you can watch the whole movie but in case you haven't got the time to watch the movie in full, here is the trailer.

Link to the full movie - http://stagevu.com/video/ruaznrajemmn

The Road To Inception

I haven't been looking for to a film coming out in ages, every time some massive blockbuster or a well known remake of a TV show or some long awaited sequel is about to come out I always scratch my head and wonder what everyone is getting so excited about, it’s gonna be shit. They always end up to being shite, pretty much all of them. Okay, for instance, I saw the clip for that new Expendables movie there the other day, with all the 80s actions stars in it, Sly, Bruce, Arnie, Jet, Dolf, Mikey and for about 5 seonds, I thought to myself - 'Holy Shit, that is going to fucking deadl . . . . Hold on a minute, the trailer is fucking deadly but you can guarantee the film is absolute crud.




But for the first time in about 2 years I was genuinely excited about the release of a massive blockbuster, I saw the trailer and I was thinking the exact thing everyone else was thinking. 'This is gonna be fucking savage.' It was gonna be one of those movies that you knew was gonna be sweet. There was no two ways about it. The only thing that was getting at me was Christopher Nolan, the director and I know what you’re probably saying right now, 'What the fuck are you talking about; he is a savage director, Memento, the Batman movies.' Yeah, okay, I'll give you Memento is a fucking kick ass film, what a way to start your career and that Insomnia movie was of okay aswell but I hated the Batman movies. The first one, all that story about him getting trained and slowly becoming Batman, I thought that stuff was quality but all this shit with the Tom Wilkinson as this gangster of Gothem and Cillian Murphy sending the whole of Gothem on the worst acid trip of there lives. I thought all of that was bollix. And as for the second film which I was suspect about when it was coming out, that first scene with the bank robbery - amazing. That opening helicopter shot, the one that is heading towards the big black building, I thought to myself in that scene, 'This cunt can use a camera.' Not only in that scene but the whole film looked perfect and Heath Ledger, what a swansong, I never really rated him as a top class act until I saw him in that movie but, in my opinion, that was it. It was too long, Christian Bale's growly voice was wrecking my head and that whole bit with the boats at the end, a bit out of nowhere if you ask me and the word random is the only word that comes to mind. So I was hoping to Christ that Inception wasn't going to be the same.

What did give me a reassuring feeling in my waters was an interview with Christopher Nolan I read in Empire saying that he was going back to the psychological thriller of Memento and Insomnia, that he had had this idea for years and now that he had made a couple of billion for Warner Brothers with the Batman movies, he could finally make it. So that reinstated the buzz in me about Inception.

The film came out and was getting amazing reviews from some of my favourite critics and all my mates were going crazy about it, people talking about going back a second time, what? I haven't heard that one in a while from everyone, going back a second time. Facebook was off the metre, you know that home page area where people can tell you what they are doing at any given time, yeah, well, every second one was about how savage Inception was except for one person, one very important person and me and that one person agree with each other on nearly every film, we hated The Departed together, we hated Gangs of New York together and together, for the past 8 years, we have been writing a book entitled 'Why the Lord of the Rings film are shite!' which we are not even half way through - My Brother, Max. Immediately, as he uttered the words 'a bit random', my confidence was shot again. Leonardo Di Caprio has nothing on my bro, let me tell you, when it comes to incepting an idea into a person's head, Max Olohan has it in spades, it truly started to spread like a virus. I was back to square one again

Right, time to go an see this bad boy, and stop fucking around, myself and Tara book ourselves two tickets for the night show in Rathmines, get in there you little beauty, lets do this. We are there -

But for the first time in about 2 years I was genuinely excited about the release of a massive blockbuster, I saw the trailer and I was thinking the exact thing everyone else was thinking. 'This is gonna be fucking savage.' It was gonna be one of those movies that you knew was gonna be sweet. There was no two ways about it. The only thing that was getting at me was Christopher Nolan, the director and I know what you’re probably saying right now, 'What the fuck are you talking about; he is a savage director, Memento, the Batman movies.' Yeah, okay, I'll give you Memento is a fucking kick ass film, what a way to start your career and that Insomnia movie was of okay aswell but I hated the Batman movies. The first one, all that story about him getting trained and slowly becoming Batman, I thought that stuff was quality but all this shit with the Tom Wilkinson as this gangster of Gothem and Cillian Murphy sending the whole of Gothem on the worst acid trip of there lives. I thought all of that was bollix. And as for the second film which I was suspect about when it was coming out, that first scene with the bank robbery - amazing. That opening helicopter shot, the one that is heading towards the big black building, I thought to myself in that scene, 'This cunt can use a camera.' Not only in that scene but the whole film looked perfect and Heath Ledger, what a swansong, I never really rated him as a top class act until I saw him in that movie but, in my opinion, that was it. It was too long, Christian Bale's growly voice was wrecking my head and that whole bit with the boats at the end, a bit out of nowhere if you ask me and the word random is the only word that comes to mind. So I was hoping to Christ that Inception wasn't going to be the same.

What did give me a reassuring feeling in my waters was an interview with Christopher Nolan I read in Empire saying that he was going back to the psychological thriller of Memento and Insomnia, that he had had this idea for years and now that he had made a couple of billion for Warner Brothers with the Batman movies, he could finally make it. So that reinstated the buzz in me about Inception.

The film came out and was getting amazing reviews from some of my favourite critics and all my mates were going crazy about it, people talking about going back a second time, what? I haven't heard that one in a while from everyone, going back a second time. Facebook was off the metre, you know that home page area where people can tell you what they are doing at any given time, yeah, well, every second one was about how savage Inception was except for one person, one very important person and me and that one person agree with each other on nearly every film, we hated The Departed together, we hated Gangs of New York together and together, for the past 8 years, we have been writing a book entitled 'Why the Lord of the Rings film are shite!' which we are not even half way through - My Brother, Max. Immediately, as he uttered the words 'a bit random', my confidence was shot again. Leonardo Di Caprio has nothing on my bro, let me tell you, when it comes to incepting an idea into a person's head, Max Olohan has it in spades, it truly started to spread like a virus. I was back to square one again

Right, time to go an see this bad boy, and stop fucking around, myself and Tara book ourselves two tickets for the night show in Rathmines, get in there you little beauty, lets do this. We are there -

Pay Me!

Once again, I have a reason in my life to put this piece up on the blog, how there is anyone out there that doesn't understand what this guy is talking about is beyond me, listen to him, the sooner people realise that this is how it is the better, listen to what he is saying. How can you be expected to do something for someone for nothing when that person is profiting from it and that person doesn't have the respect to even offer anything. Some people take the piss out there, really they do.




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MacBeth Like You Have Never Seen It

There are a load of people I know that could not give a fuck about Shakespeare and I understand where they are coming from. In this day and age, why the fuck would you put yourself through 2 or 3 hours of dialogue that you cant understand. It makes you feel stupid, it makes you feel like you don't understand your own language. I was like that going through school. I was dragged kicking and screaming to productions my whole life and hated every minute of it. I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about until I was about fifteen.

All of a sudden, that Baz Lurman Romeo & Juliet came out and people started paying a bit attention to it. It was being done a way that our generstion could relate to. It was like the lines were being said in a way that we could understand, well, for me any way. Not that it was modern, that wasn't it. It was being done in a different style. I remember seeing a production of Henry the Fourth Part 1 in the Peacock Theatre about ten years ago and feeling the same way. The actors and the directors were doing something different with it. All of a sudden, I was into this shit. I couldn't get enough of this stuff.

I have uploaded a production of the Royal Shakespeare Company's MacBeth, shot in the Roundhouse in Camden in London back in 2001, I remember seeing it for the first time with my oul'fella, he was researching the role of the porter which is particularly amazing in this production. I cant believe it is on you tube. As soon as I saw it I just had to put it up. Check this out for a master class on how to do Shakespeare. You will love it

The Rules of Attraction

Check this, I just saw this and I remember myself and my mate from school, Joe Burke, went to see this film and we thought it was sweetest, this bit especially, check this, it's from the film based on the novel by Brett Easton Ellis, Rules of Attraction. The character who is on the trip has only a small part in the movie but Brett Easton Ellis wrote another novel based him called Glamorama. It was supposed to be made a couple of years ago with the same actor, Kip Pardue but, I don't know, if anyone knows what happened i'd love to know. If you haven't read either novel, you should defo check them out

Play with this

I remember going to this when I was about 13, it blew the shit out of me. I don't know if the film does this piece justice in anyway, but when you see those 3 urns on stage and the three heads coming out of them and when the light comes up on the first one and the three actors begin to deliver the lines at the the pace that they are told to give them as it is written in the script by Beckett, it absolutely knocks you out.

I asked actress, Bernadette MacKenna, a couple of years later, what it was like, she simply said she felt like having a nervous breakdown before every performance

About a decade later, I remember asking my mates dad, Stephen Brennan, an actor who had played it at one stage, what it was like, he said 'Play, the second most terrifying thing I've ever done stage.' The second, I thought to myself, what was the the most 'What was the first?' I asked in a rediculous amount of interest 'Piece of Monologue by the same cunt' he replied

I never saw 'Piece of Monologue' on stage, I saw the film of it, it's good but very slow, not nearly as entertaining as Play - Check this out

Don't worry lads, you might think i'm neglecting my blog but i am bubbling up to an amazing blog over the next couple of days, it is going to be a whopper and i'm not talking about that shit you get from burger king, i'm talking about a serious fucking angry blog about life, art and the univerice, it's comin, it's comin, it's comin, ah, it's comin

Virtual Slackification

Okay, it's time to knuckle back down to this blog of mine. I have been slacking so badly over the last month since I started working with the Gaiety School but now that the class of 2009/10 have graduated with flying colours with a very impressive show in the project, it puts me right back where I was in May, on the scratcher with nothing to do but talk some horse shit to whoever decides to read this thing. The month of July is gonna be jam pact with . . . . . what do you call these things . . . . blogs? Okay, blogs it is. July will be jammed to the rafters with blogs.

I have a fountain of things on my mind at the moment, things I need to get off my chest, things I want to discuss in great detail, things that are both annoying me & making me smile at the same time . . . . I think that is what you call a paradox, but I'm not sure. I did ordinary English in the leaving so, please, don't hold it against me if I am completely wrong with that word.

Speaking of which, I just went into Celtic bookies in Harold's Cross there to put on my daily World Cup bets, which I might add is the most dank, horrible bookies in all of the world, pretty much a carbon copy of the bookies Ewan MacGregor goes into take a shit in Trainspotting. Anyway, I stroll in and I check the odds for the coming Holland v Brazil game and who do I see viciously throwing his betting slip at the monitor but my old Leaving Cert English teacher, Mr. McClure and he has not aged a day, in fact he looked a couple of years younger. He turned to me and gave me a very confused look of recognition, I nod in salute back and he turns back to his virtual dogs. Virtual dogs, beautiful . . . . . . Whose idea was that?

What a fucking scam? Who thought that they could get away with that in the first place or, hold on a second, who thought that it would even catch on. That grown men would sit around and bet hard cash on a fucking computer game, cheer on their chosen fictional horse that comes from a fictional stable and of course, who can forget, his fictional trainer. Every time I see it, I laugh my balls off. I can just see a load of guys in some virtual dogs/ horses head office some where like Ballymount, everyone with a joy pad and they are tapping those buttons like the clappers, each employee representing a different horse, just like Atlanta Olympics on the Mega Drive when you were a kid.

Virtual Racing, if the word degenerate doesn't spring to mind, I just don't know what will. Are you for real, lads, I'm just shocked it caught on, brilliant. I applaud you whoever came up with the concept. I applaud you