DJ my balls

I want to speak ever so briefly about DJing and what it is to be a DJ. What is your job as a DJ? What’s the point of you even being there? Why don't we just have some chun stick on a playlist at the party or the club? Why are you there? The answer to that question is very simple but there are a lot of people out there that don't know the answer and a lot of them are DJs.

Over the last few years, I've seen some of the best DJs and producers in the world, I've seen them be amazing and I've seen them be absolutely terrible. They went into the club, they got up onto the decks and they either nailed it or they flopped. They were given 2 hours to entertain the crowd with the music that they thought would grab the club by the balls and that was that.

Afterwards you would go to an after party and people would be DJing at these parties. They had a set, the key to the whole thing was that they had a set and the parties were going fuckin wild, they were amazing. Everyone was listening to what was being played, the tunes were being played in good sequence because it was coming from one bloke. He, whoever it might of been, was building up the party with what he thought would hit the spot, he either got it or he didn't. He had the time to do it. That's what made those parties for me, anyway. Now I can't remember the last time I hung out in one of those rooms in a gaf.

Now, I don't know if I'm going to the wrong parties these days or what, but I am seeing less and less of this carry on. All I see at sessions these days are cunts climbing over each other to play the next tune. 'Me Next, Me Next!' There would be a new cunt behind the decks every second tune. Nobody would be listening, the tunes would be all over the place because of the rotation of styles circulating around the fucking decks, to a point that whenever a person would finally find themselves in front of the decks, they are so fucking happy that they have finally gotten there, they don't give a fuck what the buzz is. They cant! After a half hours cuing, playing that tune that they have wanted to play so badly is the only thing on their minds. They don't give a fuck about whether people are gonna want to hear it or not, they just want to play it regardless, whether it suits the buzz or not.

I see this shit going on in a few bars as well, people jumping in and out of the DJ boxes like the clappers, and there is nothing worse when they’re not even doing anything when they are in there, they're just chilling there or are chatting to the dude playing. Get the fuck out from behind the DJ box if you’re not DJing, will ye. There is nothing more annoying to a non DJ than watching a bunch of fucking DJs just hanging around the DJ box, like some little DJ click reminding everyone that they are all DJs, don’t forget now.

Get out of there, what are you doing in there. There should be only one cunt behind those decks, he should be there on his own for his set or else he shouldn't be there at all, we should just stick on an itunes playlist. I've got a few sweet little playlists on my itunes if you fancy, I'll go behind there and press play if you want me to, I'll do it. Get out of there!