Okay, it has taken a week in bed with the worst man flu ever and watching the first week of 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here' to get stuck into another blog, my first blog in the month of November. . . . and October. I have realized that this show is one of the greatest shows since 'The Grand Knockout Tournament' when comes to fucking up real celebrities.
Some how a group of producers have gotten a handful of quite well known celebrities this year, I will never know how. I know normally they are a group of nobodies and has-beens that I never know or never have much interest in but, this year, we have Linford Christie, Shaun Ryder, that politician, Lemptit, who rode a Cheeky Girl, that goofy bird from X Factor, Dom Joly and they just brought on that fat bird from Big Brother. You know, real celebrities. But the one who is standing out for me is that oul'one who sniffs through peoples shit for fibre on that sort of weight watchers show, Gillian whatser name.
Gillian is this frail, little vegan that keeps on getting picked for each task which, of course, involves eating all sorts of mad shit, swimming with baby crocodiles and eels & being bearded alive. This woman is about to have a nervous breakdown, it is amazing television. She has fainted twice, each time better than the last and I can’t wait for the next one. She keeps asking, 'Why do the public keep putting me up?' and I’m happy to give her an answer to that question.
You're being a cunt. Stop being a cunt and you'll see, the public will feel sympathy for you. You wont have to crawl through that pitch-dark tunnel of tarantulas, a task that can only end with you pissing yourself for my amusement. Trust me, they will give a tsk to Linford, he is starting act like a complete cunt so there is your way out. You don't have to even stop being a cunt, just stop talking and Linford will do the work for you.
How much are they paying these people? It must be a healthy amount because you would have to pay me a fortune to do any of that shit and then to put it on TV, fuck that. These people are elected politicians, professional comedians, live-broadcasters, decorated athletes, and music legends, you would think they would know better than a podgy twat from Dublin like me, who doesn't know his arse hole from his ear hole when it comes to making the right decision. They must be getting paid a fuck load.
The whole philosophy behind the show is amazing, it's phenomenal. We are no longer as a society putting celebrities on pedestals and looking up to them. We have turned them into clowns, dance, dance, dance, pig, dance. I used to always think this show was another self-indulgent show about celebrities, another wanky celebration of people who are famous, and how annoying they were. But no, this is different, this is amazing, this should be studied. This should be celebrated, I am so hooked, it unreal. Maybe it might have something to do with my man flu or the high doses of antibiotics & steroids I've been on for the last week but I'm going to watch this show every year now for the rest of time. 'Until the day comes where they have laid out in Marge's funeral home, and truck me off to Mount Almond.'
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