My 2 Entries - Come on the Picnic

I entered a competition to win 2 Electric Picnic tickets from Heineken, I had to write about if I had a choice to bring 3 famous people to the Picnic who would it be. here are my 2 entries - fingers crossed -



What is this with people picking famous people like Jim Morrison & Hunter S Thompson, I couldn't think of anyone more intense and annoying to go to a festival with. Yes, they go down in history as being two of the most out there, mad yolks the world has ever seen but I go to a festival to chill out, not to be freaked out. If you were staying with the 2 of them, Jim would spend most of his time pontificating about how beautiful the world is, while in one hand he would have a bottle of Jack and with the other he would be feeling up your girlfriend. And as for Hunter, you would be waking up in the middle of the night with him on top of you, sticking a gun in your mouth, asking you why you are here. No, my people will be some of the most easy going famous people. Not messy or outspoken or portentous, just sound out of it. Someone who me and my mates can actually buzz off. Persons who will be able to keep up for the weekend, keep going till the bitter end. Number 1 - Billy Bragg - Probably the soundest man I have never met. You can just tell by Billy, he is bang on; there is no two ways about it. He would not be full of himself in any way; he wouldn't be constantly talking about himself. He can talk music, he can talk film, he can talk football. Just very pleasant company, outrageously so! Number 2 - John Peel - Now if you want to have another person who can give you good, funny conversation about music and football and, in turn, keep a chilled out atmosphere, John Peel is your man. He can hold his own at any drink session as can Billy, and again, not portentous, just sound out of it. The two of them are gas as well, they would be cracking you up. Number 3 is person who would fit right in there with Billy & John & Myself - Noel Gallagher - I don't know if anyone has seen interviews with Noel Gallagher but now that Oasis are finished, he should definitely pick up a career in stand up. He is hilarious. He'd be the craic, he would be sessioning until the bitter end, until we haven’t an ounce of energy left and you'd be busting your hole laughing for pretty much the whole time. Jim Morrison & Hunter S Thompson! Are you for real? What a nightmare? Try a little taste of Billy Bragg, the late John Peel & Noel Gallagher - I can just see the 4 of us chilling out inside in the Body & Soul Area, sipping on a beer with not a care in the world, talking about how amazing Leftfield were last night - Leccy Piccy 2010, lets be having you



Entry Number 2 -

I have finally arrived at the Picnic; I can’t believe it, where has the summer gone. I've taken it way too handy, this is my first festival of the year so I'm pretty much gonna make up for all that lost time. I’m gonna have a level of crack that I can’t even comprehend myself - who will come with me on this monstrous journey of palpitating enjoyments? The four man tent is up and ready for myself and my 3 famous reveller mates, I've made it the comfiest bloody tent on the face of the planet, the thing is filled with 8 large cushions, and when I say large, I mean massive, these thing are ridiculously big. We have 4 king-size,15 tog duvets and 4 whopper sleeping bags, those sleeping bags with the hoods on them that cost about a hundred squid. I would also have a small generator hooked up to a pair of deadly speakers and an full ipod so that tunage, whilst in the campsite, isn't an issue at any stage of the weekend. Outside the tent there are four up-market gazebos tied together, real quality ones and a generous selection of camping chairs with a security guard watching them. Now time for the arrival of my first festival friend - Storm from the X-Men - The number one thing needed for a top class festival experience is amazing weather so who else to put in there but the weather controlling Storm. If a big, horrible, apocalyptic rain cloud is about to position itself over Stradbally come next Friday, don’t worry, there will be nothing to fear, my friends - with a lift of Storm's eyebrow that cloud will be history and it will be nothing but sun, sessioning and soundness for the next three days and nights. As well as that, she can fly, guess who is being sent to the offo every time we run out of gargle. Also, sharing a tent with Hally Berry would be absolutely savage. Festival Room-mate 2 has to be someone who is gonna crack me up throughout my stay, so my next friend for the weekend is the late, great Bill Hicks. From crude, controversial, drunken hilarity at night to sound, intelligent, hangover conversation over breaky. A perfect additive to my festival adventure. Also, he would always be stocked up with smokes, something that is key to my festival going pleasure. My final friend in tent is my imaginary pet silver-back gorilla, Mick. Mick is 9 ft tall, he weighs about 800lbs, he wears a bowler hat and is smoking a stogy at all times. He is chilled out as a mofo, once you don't annoy him and whenever we are going anywhere, I just hop up on his shoulders and off we pop. I never get tired walking around all day, I get to where I'm going a lot faster and I've pretty much got the best view of every stage at the festival. Also, Mick is no lightweight; he can gargle with the best of them so he will be able to keep up with myself, Storm and Bill for the duration of the weekend. He is some man for getting the beer into him, I can tell you. In fact, he is notorious for robbing people’s beer at house parties back home. What are people gonna do about it if they have a problem with him, he's a 9ft, silver-back gorilla, Mick will wear them as a hat if there is any back chat. He is also hilarious craic when you get him going so, in my opinion, he would be ideal tent-mate for this years Picnic. Come on the Picnic 2010!