Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Search for the Evilest Men in Hollywood - 1

Here I am, lying on my couch, dying of the worst fucking flu I’ve had in ages, . . . . . . . . . . well, not in ages, it’s not as bad as the one I had back there in November where I literally thought I had emphysema, and each and every cough felt like my chest was about cave in, where every trip to the jacks made me feel like Augustus Gloop out of Willie Wonka and every hallucination felt like something out of a Hunter S. Thompson novel. No, it would be unfair of me to compare it to that week of absolute hell, but it’s not far behind it, it's a close second. I’m trying to keep my mind off it, keep it as occupied as possible because the more I ponder the sickness, the more magnified it gets, so what do I do? I’m trying to think of actors that, by no fault of their own, are consistently playing baddies. You know the actors I’m talking about. They never play good guys, only bad guys.

Now, I’m not talking about the likes of Anthony Hopkins, yes, I know he has some of the greatest baddies in the history of film to his name, Hannibal, ‘The Cannibal’ Lector, Benicio Del Toro’s oul’fella in Wolfman, he’s played Richard Nixon, who I suppose is a villain and, of course, who can forget Fredrick Treves in the Elephant Man. There is no doubting it, he has played some absolute bastards in his time but he has also played some lovely characters, so lovely that they defiantly have to counter act the others – John Quincy Adams, C.S. Lewis, The Butler in Remains of the Day and that oul’lad in Meet Joe Black. I want some serious arseholes here.


You might be thinking of lets say, Alan Rickman, over the years, he has portrayed complete and utter cunts it has to be said. Hans Gruber in Die Hard – wanker, Sheriff of Nottingham – dickhead, The Judge in Sweeney Todd – even bigger dickhead &, of course, how can we forget his performance as Eamon De Valara.

But considering all this – Love Actually, Harry Potter Movies, Galaxy Quest and Dogma. Alan Rickman can kick ass as a good guy. I want actors who look evil, when you see them, they look dodgy as fuck. They can play nothing else.



Who I’m talking about is the likes of Christopher Lee, that calibre of actor. No matter what Christopher Lee puts his hand to, it is sinister as bejaysis. First one off the bat has to be The Wicker Man. I only saw The Wicker Man for the first time, would you believe about a month ago. I had the unfortunate luck to see the Nick Cage remake about 6 years ago and it completely put me off. But when I saw the Christopher Lee one, fuck me, he is quality in it, everyone is quality in it. That image of them doing that childish dance at the end while the wicker man is going up in smoke is freaky.

I also believe that Christopher Lee holds the record for playing the No. 1 baddie in the history of film, Dracula. He holds the record for playing Dracula the most times, I think it is 8 or something. He also has The Mummy and Frankenstein to his name.
Not to mention, his performances in the Star Wars Prequels as the Jedi Knight come Sith Lord, Count Ducu & his portrayal of the White Wizard, Saroman in the Lord of the Rings trilogy and lest we not forget, Scaramanga in The Man with the Golden Gun. He is the king of baddie, but Christopher Lee is an easy one, I want to know others.


They also don’t have to be famous actors mind you; they can be those low key actors that everyone knows, but not really. You know those character actors who always just turn up in shit, you never know their names but they are always complete cunts every time you see them. You know the guys I’m talking about. The first man on my list is this dude. The gravelly Michael Wincott

Never have I ever seen this dude play anything other than a complete sap. First film where he springs to mind would be where he appear next to Alan Rickman, in Robin Hood where he played Guy of Gisbourne, the sheriff’s brother or something, Here is what Wincott said about the roll,

‘It's always so much more interesting to play the villains and this guy is real son of a bitch.’

I also recall him in a under rated action movie starring Eddie Murphy called Metro, it was a simple action movie, okay, but I believe it was one of Eddie Murphy’s last decent live-action movie, not that that is saying a lot. Anyway, Michael Wincott, again, was a sweet ass bad guy in that, a real mad thing and here is what he said about the role,

‘The guy I'm playing in Metro thinks of himself as a responsible and nice guy, after all, he is taking care of his retarded cousin. That is what I try to keep in mind, when I'm shooting and stabbing people.’ – Brilliant

He also played the head bad guy in The Crow, which is up there as one of my favourite movies from my teenage years and, once again, Michael Wincott was the evil bastard in that movie, probably one of the best villians. It’s his distinctive raspy voice that gives him his evilness, he is fucking savage. And of course, he has a fountain of others to his name – the horrible prison guy in Count of Monty Cristo, the psycho in Along Came a Spider; he plays a human smuggler in Alien Resurrection and who can forget him as the one eyed Rochefort in The Three Musketeers. He is first on my list; this is the calibre of actor I’m talking about. Complete Bastards.



Second on my list is very unknown actor, yet, he has been in some huge movies but he never really hit the big time. The reason being, I believe, is because he can only play cunts. This man will always play villains, he just has that face. His name is Peter Greene

I’m sure, as you see this guys photo, you all immediately go – Zed. Yes, Zed from Pulp Fiction is probably his most notable role to date, the sadistic cop who forces Marcellas Wallace to go down to Brownstown while he lets his hick mate watch as that all-famous Comanche tune rings out. Probably my favourite scene in the film, I remember watching Pulp Fiction for the first time in my mate Franko’s gaf back in Rathfarnham and my jaw being on the floor and the fact that Zed is in a cop outfit throws a massive curve ball into the scene, why is he a cop?. Another question you might ask as well is, is Zed even a cop? Or is it just a costume that empowers him as he rapes his victims? Either way, Greene fucking nails that small but effective part in my favourite film of all time. One of my all time wishes is to see what those ‘hard pipe hittin niggas’ do to Zed when they get their hands on him.

Another one of my favourite films, also, stars Peter Greene and what do you know, he plays a bastard, but a slick bastard at that. In the Usual Suspects, our five leading characters head out to California to meet Stephen Baldwin’s character’s fence, Redfoot, Greene plays Redfoot. There are two scenes with Redfoot, both in same location, on this peer. First one is during the day, all nice and friendly, everyone introduces themselves, another job is offered and its all fine and dandy but the scene finishes with a sweet little exchange of words between Gabrial Byrne and Greene’s character, Redfoot, about how Byrne’s character killed one of his mates in prison which is probably one of the slickest little bits of dialogue in the whole movie.

The second scene is at night, it’s after the job and it is quite a different atmosphere. There was no cash for our main characters at the job and they want answers and it is Peter Greene’s scene. Verbally, it is him against the five lads, back and forth until Greene’s character flicks his smoke into Stephen Baldwin’s face and gets it on the money, right on his eyeball. The scene then opens up to a classic Mexican stand off between Pollock, Baldwin, Del Toro, Spacey & Gabriel Byrne against Peter Greene’s lads, who have an M-60 on the roof of their pick up truck. Redfoot, coolly walks away laughing, slick as you like. In these two scenes, Peter Greene is quality.

Peter Greene was also the main bad guy beside Jim Carey in The Mask, now; it has been over a decade since I saw The Mask but what I remember it was pretty good, entertaining crap, a bit wacky, but pretty good. That moment when Peter Greene ends up putting the mask on, I remember being savage.
He was also, if memory serves me correctly, a part of Denzel’s crew in Training Day, the crew who Denzel wants Ethan Hawke to join. Greene is the one who accidentally gets shot when they burst in on Scott Glenn. It was himself, Dr. Dre, Nick Chinlund (who I will defo be talking about next, he is another evil bastard) and some unknown dude that I don’t know or care about.
Also, Does anyone remember a cop comedy starring Martin Lawrence called Blue Streak? Greene, again, up to his old tricks again, played the main bad guy. I don’t know what it is with him, he just has an untrustworthy face, as soon as you see him, you just think to yourself – he is fucking dodgy.
Greene also appeared in Under Siege 2, a classic, where he played surprise, surprise – a terrorist. I think Stephen Segal opens a fresh can of whoop-ass on Greene towards the end.



These are the actors, I’m talking about. They need to be celebrated and the funny thing is, they are all probably bang on, the soundest chuns in the world but unfortunately for them every where they go, every place they are, they have people coming up and saying – ‘You know what, bro, you’re an absolute twat, you are.’ I am going to spend the next couple of blogs dedicating every word to these actors. Whose next? Back to my research. I'll have a few more tomorrow.